first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
