Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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