I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Send help, water and tortillas.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
