Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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