***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
