how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
