Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
