i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
