sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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