I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize