Dual....:-)
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
