She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I wish there were birth control emojis
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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