So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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