Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
