They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
