They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
