she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish you could order shots online.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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