Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
