NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
