whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
