So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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