I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You pole danced in your parka.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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