Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
