that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
