Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
