We're like a lot better than the average bears
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We have started to decorate penises.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
