saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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