I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
