I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
