everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
