guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
and you fell through a lawn chair
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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