I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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