Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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