Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
