He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
