So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
