you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
