Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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