just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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