you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
