Whod you bang
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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