I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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