so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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