Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
