There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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