The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize