chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
