My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
