i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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