I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize