We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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