watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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