your room smells of hookers.
And success
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
