I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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