She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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