3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I intend to get homeless drunk
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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