she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
