Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
