hell yes lets make some ravioli
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
my poor anus
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
